I knew this dance craze I was on was a little much but James Brown moves now?? Oh helltothenaw. Yes, I managed to almost to a JB down on one knee a week or so ago while walking to the shopping market. See, I was avidly watching 2 dogs (one being a HUGE Rottweiler) behind a tall wire fence. I was so entranced I slipped on a patch of ice entering the market's parking lot. The left knee was almost on the ground as the right leg was all over doing it's own thing. As I looked back at the dogs, they seemed to be saying "and you're worried about us over here when we should be worrying about you over there" while doggy snickering as they continued to play. Yeah, yeah mutts... WUT-EVER!!
Of course I looked around while agonizing at the new pain in my groin from the near parking lot thank you very much (in advance) split. I think it's like the normal reaction when enbarassed, I dunno. There was one guy who was near the LICK HER sto' who was playing it off by looking in another direction. So with the new pain and ego dampened, I gathered myself and proceeded to shop. Hey, no pain, no gain... shopper's stuff, OK? Well Miss how ya like me now want to pull a JB yet again, almost, while trying to get to the car in this feels like 0 degree freezing rainstorm we are going through right now. I pulled a JB on ice move as the sidewalk which I term 'black cement' as opposed to 'black ice' (when water/ice is so invisibly sheer on the tar roads it can cause a vehicle to hydroplane - speed playing a MAJOR factor) was horrifically layered and very drenched.
It was not a pretty picture you can beleive that. I thank The Almighty for all the career choices/jobs that I did not take that require any outdoor work. I'd have been fired a few times over to say the least. I just don't do ice no matter how bad it wants to do ME!!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
James Brown Moves Meets Freezin' Di
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Lady Di! How fabulous of you to stop by and leave me a note =) I'm at work right now (and therefore should be WORKING lol) so I can't read your blog yet, but I'm going to add you to my blogroll and I plan on coming back by to return the favor... BTW - I LOVE PRINCE, I've seen him in concert twice, the second time, I had second row tickets and it was AMAZING.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by!
Bre
I'm on my way back over now Bre. Stop by any time and definitely do not forget the Katt update. Waiting...
ReplyDeleteLOL, I'll definitely have your Katt Williams update after the show on SUNDAY...and the holiday Gods smiled upon me, as Monday is a holiday and I'm a lazy state worker...ok, well I'm not actually lazy, but I should keep the urban legend alive....Monday's a holiday so I can party like it's 1999, er... 2099 on SUNDAY - the day of the big event.
ReplyDeleteOk, but moving right along, I have the BEST story to add to your post here....I, yes I - did the James Brown, unintentionally of course and it was AWESOME. (I know awesome is a bad, over-used and somewhat obnoxious word, but I can't lie, it's become one of my favorites, running a close second to the F word...which holds a very special place in my heart, but I digress....)
Picture me rolling (lol, had to throw in a Tupac reference, it just felt right), I'm looking good... I wish I could remember what I was wearing, but I know I had to be looking good because I was at Arco Arena for a King's game and as all single women know, you must look good at all times when fine ass men are likely going to be in attendence....What I DO remember wearing, are my knee high boots...I had just left the concession stand (I know I came nowhere close to spelling that correctly) with my big ol slice of pizza and large soda. The pizza is in my left hand, balanced on a paper plate....the soda in my right - I'm holding it by the top, my hand covering the lid...walking with my best friend, talking, LA LA LA LA, life's beautiful n shit... all of a sudden, my world spins out of control...my boots hit some indoor "black cement" and in an instant, I went down... simultaneously, my right leg slides behind as my left leg slides forward, and all of a sudden, I've done the freakin James Brown SPLITS like nobody's business.... it happened so quickly - and I was in a bit of shock.... Not surprisingly, my pizza was still intact on the plate and my soda was too. I don't play when it comes to pizza... I was just sitting there, in the splits position like WTF just happened?!??!?!?!? Some nice, pimp-looking dude stooped down to ask if he could help me up. No, no no! I'm fine... I think it was the shock talking...but what do you know, I slid RIGHT BACK UP - PIZZA AND SODA IN HAND like I do this shit for a living. YES GIRL, I did! No lie! And kept on walking like nothing happened...
My friend was WEAK to say the least....she was laughing SO HARD and SO LOUD... Later she told me that she was talking to me and all of a sudden I just wasn't there anymore. LOL Man, that's one of the funniest memories I have... It wasn't even embarassing BECAUSE IT WAS SO AWESOME! LOL Anyway - thanks for letting me hijack your blog and share my story! Well...I guess I shouldn't say that just yet - you still have to approve it lol...
Good times! Thanks for taking me back to my own James Brown moment!!!
AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA, oh no. You are a riot to say the least Bre. Your very public JB was far from NOT being funny, ok? And how you managed to hold the soda AND pizza is beyond me. I do thank you for sharing as it made me laugh harder than my own story. I know I'll see you back very soon. ;)
ReplyDeletePS - I'm glad it's a holiday on Monday because from the reading of you JUST purchasing tickets for KW's show, you're going to need heaps of rest after the FRONT row happenings. Whatever they may be.... ughhhhhh ohhhhhhhhh
LOL I'm sooooooo glad you liked my JB moment! I've never had anyone to compare "doing the James Brown" notes with!
ReplyDeleteI have NO CLUE how I kept my soda and pizza intact...it must have been some subconcious animal instinct of protecting the FOOD SUPPLY...big girls gotta eat!!!
Yes, I'm going to need so much rest from the excitement ALONE... and I am not a happy camper when I don't get enough sleep! So I am sooooooo thankful for the holiday... Is Katt not coming to your area? Have you seen all his stand-up DVD's?
Ahh yes, and - let me be the first to wish you a fantastalistic and beautiful Valentine's Day! From one Queen to another! ;)
Now see Bre, unlike Weekend's Blog (laughs hard) some sharing is good food for all eating it. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Man, that post about the unhappy customers and what she/they did in return has me in stitches. I will NEVER, EVER be mean to a wait staffer EVER again (not that I recall ever doing such thus far), I mean it. I will leave and never return.
ReplyDeleteWait... what are you still doing up this wee hour? AHAHAHAHAA!! Big?? You appear slim in that pic but then you fooled me once already so, fooled again depending on what your "big" means to you. I'm a size 12 tapping 14, so I'm not smallish either.
If Katt is coming to Maryland, then there's no notifications as yet. I've signed up with LiveNation.com and they just updated his MySpace page with dates up to April I think it last read. Waiting...
I have seen all the DVD releases, oooldes of stuff on the net and I post on the IMDb.com under most of the things he's been in as well as his profile board. If you register, you will see my name loads. I'm a 'Lady' everywhere I go. I even post sick shit on his MySpace pages. I know he doesn't read but maybe ONE of them he will see. Ya never know.
I think my post didn't make it so let me seeeeee, what did I say the first time???
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry I fooled you! I didn't mean to...I never mean to. People just always think...I'm not white LOL... I'm serious... One time I called a cab and it was a guy I'd used before, and he remembered who I was with, but not me personally... so anyway, he ends up having to call a different cab to pick me up and long story short the cab driver tells me that he was looking for a black woman because the other cab driver told him "I don't know what she looks like, but I think she's black..." I was crackin up - cause I'm not one of "THOSE CHICKS" that talks a certain way to sound a certain way... My best friend is black and when we first met years ago she said the same thing - "You don't talk like you're trying to be black... you just .... got a little somethin in your voice that makes you wonder..." Whatever the F that means lol....and another time I met a guy over the phone via work and we ended up being cool... so finally he asks my race...and when I don't tell him right away he says, "well I think you're black" LOL I started crackin up...then I sent him a picture of me.... So anyway - Lady Di you are not the first! And I'm sure you won't be the last... But like I said in my recent post on my blog I CAN'T HELP IT!!! ITS IN MY SOOOOOOOUL!!!!!!! LOL
On another note - I too am a size 12... Recently lost 45 lbs so I used to be heavier...it was NOT CUTE. So...ha! Fooled you twice!
Ahhhhhh Bre, I'm a size 14 in the mid section, 12 everywhere else. :p Hey, I am not into push-ups as in push up from any plate(s) of food. OK? :D I have worn up to a 16 and I can recall going down to an 8. I had both upper and lower flu. I could not keep water in EITHER way. It was seriously a pen stroke (My Dr.'s) from being put on bed rest and meds. She gave me one week to get my health in tact or else. You can best believe I was near perfect poster child healthy when she saw me again. Man, I had a big head and a lil body like Star Jones azzz. NOT CUTE!!
ReplyDeleteI'm not color struck at all but you just have that funny mentality that I guess I think only exist in people of color. Not ghetto but not white people craziness either. In between, ya know. But you enjoy life and that's what makes you fun. You seem to recognize a lot of stuff people your age don't. You're cool peeps that I could PROBABLY hang out with despite our age difference. I read your Blog just laughing at and with you, no doubt.
Off to Blogland.
LOL I don't like push ups either! I am WEAK with the big head little body mental picture...I think I wore a size 8 in high school...but I can't remember. I know I was skinny in 9th grade, I have pictures to prove it! But I seriously thought I was fat. My best friend at the time, who I grew up with from age 3 or 4, is TINY...So tiny that I always compared myself to her and thought I was huge. Not fun.
ReplyDeleteYes...I would have to say I have an old soul...I have always gotten along with people older than me. I do have friends my age, but those are people I went to school with. Outside of people I grew up with, I usually end up friends with people older than myself. Xina, my best friend is ...well let me not put her on blast like that - she's in her 40's and we've always gotten along as if we were the same age...Then of course I have a lot of friends in their 30's.
So yeah, I'm sure you and I would be great friends if we lived in the same time zone! But I have no clue how old you are and I have a feeling you're not as old as you make it sound!! Besides - age really is just a number...
I'm off to take a nap! I CALLED IN SICK TODAY!!! But I'm going to try to go in later so I need to sleep...
I got that big head/lil body from Katt talking about Star Jones you know. I'm sure I wore and 8 way prior to the year I had the flu AND decided to stop eating beef plus pork. That was 2000 into 2001. Mad holiday overtime caused me to not even realize it until someone hurt my feelings by asking did I have AIDS. I lost 50 or so pounds in less than a month. I felt good but it did not LOOK good, to me. I feel good at around the 10/12 mark. I just need to lose this spare tire that somebody's SUV left on my mid section. I am set after that. Guys LOVE my other parts. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! A lil beyond shoulder length hair when permed and sorta lights eyes - not bad to me at all. Heeeheeeeeheeeeeeeee!! I have my aging pangs here and there but I'm no pill popper so me just DEAL WID IT!!
ReplyDeleteI'm a child from the 60's as well but I never tell people EXACTLY unless they meet me face to face. I was alive prior to MLK's loss of life I will say. I am not age struck at all. I'd rather you be young and mature than old and simple but hey, I can pick and choose my pals and friends, right? I love people who love life and just do crazy stuff that makes you laugh as long as no one gets hurt nor arrested. I'm not one of them people's who will go to jail with their peeps. Ain't been yet and am not trying to get there either. (laughs heartily)
dang thats messed up someone asked if you had AIDS??? Yeah I got a spare tire toooooo and I hate it!
ReplyDeleteSee you're the same age as my best friend...she's BAAAAAAD! Like 1980's Michael Jackson bad, not 2008 Michael Jackson bad lol. Dudes jock her everywhere she goes. Age is nothin.
I wasn't real upset about the aids comment as you have to understand the mentale (sp??) of some people and how they'll say anything. I probably am around her age and baaaad as I wanna be, ya hear me!! :D
ReplyDeleteBack to Katt, Ms Ren'a went on V-Day and she said he had all new material and had 2 comedians with him as well. They scooted him right of stage and out the door. No meet n greet at all. She has Katt Williams Fanz on MySpace and was in 'First Sunday' with her (40's too) bad self getting a cameo part in a church scene near the beginning of the movie. Ain't she nothing!! HAAA!!